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I`ve decided to go my own way and think "inside the box" to be different ... Wow its dark in here!
You can tell a lot about a womans mood by her hands. If they are holding a gun, she`s probably angry.
Son to mom: why should I sweep the floor? Mom to son: do you want to be an Olympic Curl champion?
If I had a time machine, I would just keep going back to bed.
Sure, I can speak Spanish... "Margarita!"
I`ll be back before you can pronounce actillimandataquerin altosapaoyabayadoondib ab!
I finally stopped caring what other people think. I hope everyone’s ok with that.
I would go for a jog today, but it looks like all of these cupcakes expire today as well.
When I woke up this morning everything in my house had been stolen and replaced with exact replicas... WEIRD..
Maybe my mom was right all those years ago. Maybe I won`t be happy until someone loses an eye. Maybe that`s what`s been missing.
I looked up "thesaurus" in my thesaurus and it says "Don`t be a smart-a$$".
Working in retail has taught me that the customer is always right. At least while they`re in earshot...
thinks we should all jump out of our chairs and do the 5 second happy dance! READY! GO!
You don`t need to use your words if you`re carrying a machete. People just seem to figure it out.
If you’ve been naughty… go to your room. If you want to be naughty… go to mine.