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I may look like I`m doing nothing, but in my head I`m quite busy.
Love makes the world go `round, but alcohol makes it spin.
"I really should buckle down and get my rap album going"-Me, every time I drink
You don`t have to like me, I`m not a Facebook status.
Turns out fantasy football is nothing like I thought it would be. Anyone interested in a naughty quarterback outfit? Serious inquiries only.
I`m the crazy bitch you`ll never forget.
Facebook: an alternative to drunk dialing.
The problem with plants is that you have to water them… like more than once apparently.
All I`m saying is, you`ve never seen me crying and eating tacos at the same time
Why do the 5 seconds I have to wait before I can "skip ad" last 30 seconds?
I carry a yoga mat, but it`s only because I get sleepy after lunch
Working on my 32 point plan to be more spontaneous. Any suggestions?
Admit it, we all have that special someone we`d visit if given a tank to drive for a day
People say nails on a chalkboard is the worst sound ever... I think it`s the alarm clock in the morning.
On the plus side of 2017, the use of the words `awesomesauce` and `amazeballs` were at an all time low.