Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don`t hate anyone. I just don`t like people.
Just put my money where my mouth is. Pennies taste disgusting.
Great idea for an April Fools Prank ... Hide all of the desktop icons on someone`s computer and replace their wallpaper with a screenshot of their old desktop.
“I promise”, “I am sorry”, and “I love you” all have eight letters, but then again, so does “bullshit”.
I`m never more nervous than when I tell a doctor what I actually eat.
I wish the media and politicians would stop jumping to delusions.
FYI: Push-up bras don`t actually help you do more push-ups :(
Why don`t we wait for life on other planets to find us? Why do we have to do all the work?
My math is never so quick or exact as when I see an old flame with a child.
It`s not so much that I have to work that bothers me...oh wait, yes it is.
If I haven`t offended you, just scroll thru my timeline. It`s in there.
Pay no attention to the device around my ankle.
My dog just saved my life by ferociously barking at nothing outside.
October is breasts cancer month. I stare because I care.
If you catch a homeless couple having sex is it rude to tell them to "get a room"?