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If others are jealous, you’re doing something right.
This lasagna recipe has been handed down in my family for generations in the hopes that someone would eventually make it.
I’m not a picky eater or anything but I will look at both sides of a Dorito before I eat it to decide if its got a good cheesy dust ratio.
This whole being a responsible adult thing sucks.
I´m on a whisky diet. I´ve lost three days already!
You call them French Fries…I call them Edible Ketchup Shovels.
There`s a reason why natural disasters have female names.
If you are going to call the cops every time you spot me in your bushes I don`t think this relationship is going to work.
You always remember your first Crush. Mine was Orange.
Sometimes, I send game request just to piss people off :)
I can`t help but feel important when someone says there`s a special place in hell for people like me.
For someone who can`t put on a pair of socks without falling over, I sure do manage to get a lot done every day.
Volleyball = A more intense version of don`t let the balloon hit the floor.
Irony. The opposite of wrinkly.
Laughing is the best medicine. But if you’re laughing for no reason, you need medicine.