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An awkward morning beats a boring night.
life is unfair theres 6 days between monday and sunday but only 1 between sunday and monday
Another day where I`m not skinny, rich or famous. Getting real tired of this sh*t.
The realization you`ve spoken too loudly when you exclaimed: " My Salad had NUTS!"
People that walk behind cars get exhausted
If you catch me in the morning in a yoga position... more than likely I passed out drunk that way.
We are the only ones who can control our own happiness, but sometimes it feels like someone else is holding the remote.
Not all country music is terrible. If you can get past the lyrics about trucks, mud, farms and cows... It`s actually not too bad.
Women are fascinated by mythical creatures like unicorns, vampires, and men who are good listeners...
So I was thinking... since the kids get the Easter bunny, why shouldn`t I expect a visit from a Playboy bunny today?
If by angry birds you mean flipping off a$$holes while driving then yes I`m at the expert level of Angry Birds
Iām not sure why, but to me Cheerios sound like the happiest of all circular shaped cereals.
For the record, giving someone the creeps for Christmas is technically not a gift.
Not trying to be racist or ignorant but... seriously, all crocodiles and alligators look alike.
If you love something, set it free. Maybe not dogs with rabies though. Or killer bees or pretty much any domesticated animal into the wild. Lots of stuff really. Look, the point is don`t love anything.