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The only reason I liked your post was because I was trying to clean a smudge off my screen.
This town has more white trash in it than a dumpster behind a paper plate factory
A walk of shame is always sad. Don`t make it worse by adding the sound of Flip flops to it.
Happy Hallogivemas!!!!!! It`s the time of year when the stores sell Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas stuff all on ONE aisle!
If you believe in reincarnation then your tombstone should say “b.r.b” instead of “r.i.p”.
It’s that time of the evening where my beer bottle has magically turned into a microphone again.
life is too short to think twice and act wise....
Adam and Eve were the first people to agree to the Apple terms and conditions without reading them.
eHarmony has a 24 month plan. How ugly do you have to be to need 2 years to find someone?
Cheer Up. Right now, somebody, somewhere, is thinking about you naked.
WOULD YOU RATHER: have six arms or giant antlers? (You don’t really get a choice; the surgeons were just sort of curious.)
Facebook is like a nude beach. Everybody lets everything hang out, and you really don`t want to see a lot of it...
Not to brag, but I still owe Blockbuster $2.00 for not rewinding Weekend at Bernies.
Sorry, I didn’t mean to text you a graphic description of my explosive diarrhea. Stupid autocorrect.
When will they start calling marijuana dispenseries grass stations?