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How weird was the first robber to wear pantyhose on his face
That awkward moment when the guy who discovered milk had to explain what he was doing to the cow
If I could have sex with anyone, living or dead, I`d probably pick living.
Girls are too sensitive. She said she was having twins and I said, "At least you`ll finally have 2 kids by the same father."
I wanted to say thank you to all the people who gave me a reason to drink this Friday night.
I really can’t kick ass, but I’m super good at taking names!
Messing up a guy’s hair = cute. Messing up a girl’s hair = putting your life on the line.
How many HA’s equal a LOL? How about a LMAO? Is there a conversion chart somewhere?
I think my problem is that I have really fantastic bad ideas...
According to customer service I can not bring sexy back... Without the receipt, apparently.
Teens, you should not being getting drunk. You`re annoying enough as it is
AT this stage in my life an ALL NIGHTER JUST means I didn`t have to get up and pee....
If I`m guilty of anything it`s loving you too much. Oh and indecent exposure...I suppose trespassing too.
insert coin to view my status
Don`t let anyone call you an "underachiever". If they knew you, they`d know how amazing it is that you`ve managed to accomplish anything.