Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
This is just a quick shout-out to bread bowls, waffle cones and other edible containers. You guys are doing a great job.
That logical moment when you`re watching Home Alone 2 wondering how child services haven`t taken him away from his parents yet.
My wife let me remove all her clothes last night ... From the dryer
Can Walmart be a feeling? I`m pretty sure that`s how I`m feeling today.
Someone needs to take a chain saw to your family tree.
It`s hard to diet when your favorite exercise is chewing...
Why put off `til tomorrow what you can premeditate today.
My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, "What`s on TV?" I said, "Dust." And then the fight started...
When I say “Nevermind.” I really mean you should’ve listened the first time.
The internet has made me so ADD. Started off googling "how to replace a timing belt" ended up watching a video on how to milk a camel.
I was just thinking…Then I thought “why?”... So there will be no more thinking today.
Eleanor Roosevelt once said "Do one thing every day that scares you" and that`s why I weigh myself in the mornings.
Every novel is a mystery, if you never finish it.
I always assume anyone sitting alone in a car in the dark corner of a grocery store parking lot is waiting to meet a hitman who is running late.
Our mailman freaked out when he accidentally saw me naked ... So did all the other people at the post office.