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So exhausting to have my life changed for the better every time someone posts a screenshot of a famous quote.
Did you know that if you light a candle under the moonlight and you say 3 times the name of the person you love, you will look really stupid doing that!
I am addicted to Cold Turkey. Not sure how I will ever quit that one.
B!tch, I will slap you by accident on purpose.
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words “The” and “IRS” together it spells “Theirs.”
When grown-ups tell kids they have a lot of energy, they really mean that they’re being annoying little bastards.
Use a mirror and you will find, PI.E = 3.14
Dear Gangsta: If you pulled up your pants a little you could run from the cops faster.
My life is a constant battle of preventing my muffin top from becoming a pound cake.
I bet all the cool math nerds call each other algebros.
How to Train Your Dragon offers no practical dragon training information. NONE. Zero stars.
Dear Dr Phil, I was watching my next door neighbor`s wife sunbathing topless from my bedroom window. As I was enjoying myself I turned to notice my lady was just standing there, arms folded...watching me. Is she a pervert?
I just put Santa hats on all my Halloween decorations.
Tieam... problem solved
FYI: I`m never gonna tell the person I`m meeting up with that you said hi.