Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Congratulations! You’ve just read this sentence.
So, basically Alexa is just some know-it-all with no actual job skills.
I really should learn to say "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"
My internet goes out more than I do.
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She is nine-seven now, and we don`t know where they hell she is.
I have Beer.
It took Harry Potter 7 damn long books to catch the bad guy. When it only takes Scooby-Doo 25 minutes.
Blacking out when you’re drunk is god’s way of telling you that it’s none of your business what you do when you’re drunk.
One day I hope to understand the phrase "more money, more problems"
When will math grow up and start solving its own problems
I really hate it when I have to watch the same channel for 2 days because the remote fell behind the couch.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HOPE YOU HAVE AN AMAZING DAY!! (To all of my FB friends, please don`t read this until the appropriate day)
It`s such a beautiful day I had to open the window while I watched TV
Do you smoke? Smokers: "Yes." Non-Smokers: "Never have, never will." Stoners: "Smoke what?"
Apparently “finders keepers” does not include expensive cars in parking lots.