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Girls who say "alot of guys are after me" should keep in mind that cheap things always attract many customers.
You know the fun part of your life is over when people around you are getting pregnant on purpose.
Gatorade always has athletes in their commercials sweating and working hard. They really should target their real consumer. A Fat guy on the couch nursing a hangover. Is it in you?
I finally figured out why men love belly rings so much on their women. It reminds them of the staple in the middle of their porn magazines!
The more neighbors I spy on through my binoculars, the creepier I think all my neighbors are!
I am going to write a book about A.D.D., because .. I love fishing. -LOL
I will not be impressed with technology until I can download food from the internet.
The generation of today are so allergic to everything, future wars will be fought by throwing bags of peanuts and cat hair at each other.
Hey guys with the super loud mufflers on their cars. I used to put a baseball card in my bicycle wheel spokes. I was 12.
Don`t be ashamed of who you are. That`s your parents job.
Oh, a spider just landed on my desk... In other news,,, When startled, I can jump 5 feet in the air with just the power of my ass cheeks.
I hate it when someone turns the light on while I`m sleeping and I`m like O_-
My dad use to take me to the circus to see the clowns, freakshows and the bearded lady. Now... I can see them anytime shopping at Walmart.
The waitress asked if I was done with that, I said yes but I`m married to it.