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Some days are just not meant to be productive.
Congratulations! You’ve just read this sentence.
Feeling tired as you struggle to get through the day? There`s a nap for that.
It`s all fun and games until you find out she`s a psychotic bitch...
ah... Crocs the 21st century version of the chastity belt
Truth is, it’s not a “long story”… I’m just too damn lazy to explain it.
Next time one of your friends leave their Facebook open, randomly pick one of their friends and like all 973 of their photos.
Mission Impossible: Ordering something at Subway without saying, "ummmm".
I was in the gym earlier and decided to jump on the treadmill. People were giving me weird looks, so I started jogging instead.
Cashier: "Would you like to donate to charity today or are you a giant piece of sh!t?"
I may or may not have just "Whipped my Hair Back and Forth".......
Me: GUESS WHO BOUGHT A MEGAPHONE!? Neighbor: Get out of my house! Me: You`re not even guessing.
Think about how much more stressful life`s most stressful moments would be if accompanied by the running-out-of-time music in Mario Bros.
love me or leave me,,HEY!!! where is everybody going?
Only YOU, can prevent bathroom mirror pictures.