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Two interesting facts for you: 1) Some pine cones look like poop. 2) I`m never kicking anything wearing flip flops again.
Mom: "Why is everything on the floor?" Me: "Gravity, Mom."
I think the next Star Wars movie should go Country! I would be excited to see Garth Vader.........
Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.
Messing up a guy’s hair = cute. Messing up a girl’s hair = putting your life on the line.
I hear lots of doctors are prescribing medical marijuana for arthritis. Given that arthritis is "inflammation of the joints", it`s fighting fire with fire!
Been there, done that. allegedly
Understanding women number 476,395: Women like to talk about their feelings.
Everytime I see a person jogging I already know they have facebook, everyone on facebook works out.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Ghetto Word of the Day: Window "Imma pay my baby mamma her child support. I just don’t know window".
It`s the little things in life that count, like pills.
One man’s LOL is another man’s WTF.
Starting to think my wife might have a tumor. She`s had a headache for the past 15 years.
I took the "Which 90`s Cartoon Are You?" quiz and got "You`re a fucking grown man. Stop it. Right now."