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Can`t dance? Spell your name....in the air...with your butt. BOOM! Next problem...
It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it.
Thanks to everyone for the Birthday wishes! To anyone who missed it.”No cake for you!!"
Leaving the house would be so much cooler if someone would yell “Aaaaand Action!” as I walk out the door.
I have a fold up treadmill under my fold up bed, so by the time I get the treadmill set up, I`m like "That`s enough exercise for today"
Every novel is a mystery novel if you never finish it
People all around the world are out doing interesting and productive things right now. You are reading this.
If a man says something in the woods.. And there are no women there.. Is he still wrong? O_o
Random Thought: How do bats hang upside down without crapping on themselves?
My wife is great at multitasking. She can be mad at me for five different things at the same time.
What do you mean being awesome for another year isn`t a resolution?
Alcohol is never the answer, unless the question is, "why were you barely conscious on the kitchen floor eating dog food?"
Rumors are like fires. No one admits to starting them and before you know it, they`re out of control.
I’m not single and I’m not committed… I’m simply on reserve for the one who deserves…
Idiots are fun, no wonder every village has one.