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A person who says they will never lie to you is probably lying already.
I hate crickets in my house.....except for the one I just killed. He seems ok.
One day, people are gonna write songs about the nap I`m about to take.
Sometimes I feel that I need someone special to complete me, but then I have a pizza and I`m like, "Nope. I`m good."
I honestly have a fear that one day I`ll leave my house and not be wearing any pants!
Walmart made plans to hire 100,000 U.S. Veterans. Which can only mean one thing: Walmart is going to invade Costco.
Warning: forgetting what pocket your keys are in may result in the Macarena.
The girl at the Taco Bell drive thru gave me this “I know your high” look. I snatched my 37 crunchy tacos and got out of there.
Are you reading this from a toilet? I`m writing this from one.
It`s funny how we all sleep differently. I sleep on my side, my roommate sleeps on his back. My ex sleeps with everybody. That sort of thing.
Sometimes I wish people would just bring donuts to work instead of drama.
"It`s not about who`s right or wrong."~ The person that is wrong
Here is a thought for all you mind readers out there…
Whoever made up the saying "It`s the thought that counts" never got a pair of crocs for Christmas.
I wake up everyday planning to be productive. Then a voice in my head says, " hahaa, good one!" Then we laugh and laugh and take a nap.