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I don`t like surprises so, I never open my Electric Bill or my Bank Statement.
If someone says you used too much butter or cheese on something, stop talking to them. You don`t need that kind of negativity
Someone’s therapist knows all about you.
I think you and I both know that you`re not facebook friends with me for the funny statuses.
To honor Thanksgiving this month I will be calling every one Pilgrim instead of Dude or Bro-- Fair warning
about love
I am now convinced that the homeless people have all of the shopping carts that do not have the wobbly wheels.
If there wasn’t such thing as a last minute I’d never get anything done.
In order for three people to keep a secret, two must be dead!
Ahh, Spring. When the days get longer and the dresses get shorter!!
Of course everyone deserves a 2nd chance, but I gave yours to someone else.
I`m at my most badass when I`m popping a wheelie with a shopping cart.
Put your gossiping skills to the test, go write a novel...
It`s funny how things change when you get older. It seems like just yesterday I would spend my evenings on the front porch and treat myself to some killer weed. Now I spend my
I always look out for #1 ... unless I`m walking thru my yard, then I look out for #2