Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m about as lost as lesbian on ChristianMingle.com
I`m starting to think the Hangover Fairy and the Angel of Death are the same person.
A cool thing about being in a relationship is that when you make a mistake you get to hear about it over and over.
3 wishes for when I find a genie: 1. The more I eat the skinnier I get 2. One kid grows up to be a pharmacist 3. Other kid owns a winery
Alcohol doesn`t make you fat, it makes you lean..........against tables, chairs, walls, and garbage cans.
It is possible to stay in your room all day and be perfectly happy.
I`m going to start a band called "Free Beer" because when people see a sign that says "Free Beer Tomorrow at 9PM" everyone is going to be there.
If Kanye didn`t sing "Gold Digger" while Kim walked down the aisle, I`m not interested in hearing anything about their wedding.
Now reached the age where getting lucky is what happens when I can remember where I set my glasses down at
I noticed tonight that I was the hottest cashier at the self checkout line.
I`m going crazy! Get in, you`re riding shotgun!
Excellent Group Ice Breaker: Do you think sailors feel pressured to swear?
So far I’ve spent most of 2014 flipping off the weather channel.
hilarious
Weekends r like d salary.. It takes a lot to get thr, & whn it finally does, it`s over in no time ;) - aa