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My neck, My back, My Netflix and my snacks...
Someday we’ll look back on all this and pretend not to remember it.
It`s weird how in England the passenger drives the car
Google was first named, `BackRub`. If they hadn`t changed the name, we`d be saying, `I don`t know, go BackRub it.`
Imagine Ferris Bueller trying so hard not to Instagram his whole day off.
50 notifications later I regret ever commenting on your status.
Why would you be scared to get Ebola? You haven`t left your couch since 2011.
Beer doesn’t have that many vitamins in it…that’s why you have to drink a lot.
Scientist Proved That There are more Than 124786534688644478 People Living In This world who are Too Lazy To Read The Above Number...!!!
You post all of your drama on Facebook. Then get upset when people judge you? You must be a special kind of stupid.
Boy: "Life`s a bitch, so is my Girlfriend." Girlfriend: "Life`s short, so is his d!ck.
My 5yr old learned how to whistle if anyone’s looking for a new 5yr old.
Apparently showing the pharmacist a picture of my wife was not a good enough reason to get Valium without a prescription.
Do girls that make duck faces in pictures walk in a V formation at the mall?
I don’t think my inner child is ever moving out.