Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The moment you stop giving a damn is the moment things get easier and better.
I helped my girlfriend with the dinner last night. I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm.
Porn is so unrealistic. There`s no way a guy with a ponytail could have a house that nice.
Keep talking; someday you’ll say something intelligent.
Is it really necessary for the first square of toilet paper to be glued down?
Sometimes it looks like I’m flashing gang signs, but really I’m just trying to get Scotch tape off my hand.
Who cares how I got inside your house. What matters is that we`re together now.
How come the voices inside of a crazy person`s head never say shit like "hey, go to the gym" or "hey, cure cancer" or "hey, don`t be crazy"?
Anyone notice the irony behind “hyphenated” and “non-hyphenated”?
Applebees is a word that starts off pretty tame but takes a dangerous twist
I need to get out of bed and do something so I can justify taking a nap later.
Nice tan, what`s your race? Carrot?
Why eat a carrot when you can just as easily not eat a carrot?
Coworker: I have a degree in History. Me: That`ll really come in handy if life starts going backwards.
Just discovered an app that tells you which one of your friends is stupid. It`s called Facebook.