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To all the waiters out there: we don`t get impressed when you try to memorize our orders, we just get nervous.
A friend doesn`t question your motive, they just keep their mouth shut and dig.
Vodka is just amazing water.
I have an inferiority complex, but it`s not a very good one.
One thing`s for sure when I shower with my boyfriend. My titties are spotless!!
Radio Shack has stayed in business with a name combining something no one buys anymore and a type of building no one wants to go into.
the kids next door challenged me to a water fight. I`m just updating my status while the kettle boils
Wtf? I was always told to treat people the way I want to be treated.. Stupid sexual harassment charges pending.
The Internet: An electronic version of, "Now, why did I walk into this room?"
As long as everything is exactly the way I want it. I`m totally flexible.
I saw a group of kids trying to put another kid into a dumpster. I had to step in, they couldn`t even lift him.
Don`t think I didn`t notice that you deleted your status when no one Liked it.
Saw a boat with a sign that read "For Sale" so I added the missing "-ing"......Idiots can`t spell...
Office Tip: In a pinch a booger and a small piece of copy paper is as good as a post it note.
9 of 10 voices in my head telI me I `m crazy. One hums ...