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Girls love shoes… so if she throws one at you, you know she’s really pissed off.
When I woke up today, I had no plans to be awesome, it just happened.
"They Dared Me To" should be a legitimate excuse in a Court of Law.
Please pay me in cash. I`m not trying to hide money from the IRS, I`m trying to hide it from the MRS.
RAIN!!!! :) I guess my rain dances must have worked. Some people call it stumbling around... I call it rain dancing.
Edward Scissorhands will never win a game of rock, paper, scissors.
A penny for your thoughts. Five bucks if they`re dirty.
I have two feelings, it`s either "I`m hungry" or "I shouldn`t have eaten this much"
"10 Totally Epic Reasons Why You`re Going Straight to Hell" - 2013 version of Ten Commandments
Don`t tell me I look tired unless you`re offering to carry me
I hate when my friends stand so close to me when pictures are being taken. It`s like they don`t know I plan on cropping them out later.
the ulitmate moment is when your identical twin says your ugly
If you didn`t want to be hit with a shovel then you never should have started telling me about your problems.
On the bright side, it’s Friday Eve Eve Eve.
Gravity didn`t seem this strong twenty-five years ago.