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wonders how you can knock sense into someone when you`re beating them senseless?
That microwavable meal was delicious and filling! – no one ever
One man`s sarcastic answer, is another man`s stupid question
If Shrek can find love, so can you. What I`m trying to say is, you look like Shrek
Avoid parking tickets by leaving your wipers on high.
To whoever has my voodoo doll, please scratch between my butt cheeks. I`m out in public. Thanks.
if ever you need NOTHING, im here for you.
I can see exactly 6 years into the future. I have 2020 vision.
If anyone ever steals my identity, I hope they show it a good time. Take it skydiving. We`ve always wanted to go skydiving.
Relationships are like just-out-of-the-oven pizza. You know it`s going to burn you, but it looks so good and maybe this time it won`t?
Just because I don’t like you doesn’t mean I don’t want you to like me.- Most Girls
The biggest cause of cancer in mice is research.
Always look your best, cause you never know when your family is going to surprise you with an intervention.
She lost me at, "I don`t watch football."
Do angry people know about naps?