Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It`s Thanksgiving. Don`t forget to set your scale back 25 lbs
The average person farts 14 times a day. Finally, I`m above average at something!!
Plan B includes margaritas.
You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”
I could do so much more if I only had minions.
I dreamed about you last night, and so you know; Shame on you!!
Fun game for parents: Scream in horror the first time your child loses a tooth.
Always look both ways before crossing a woman.
I found the "one" today! Surprisingly, It`s been on my keyboard all the time.
When people have cars as their profile picture I automatically presume they are a transformer.
Jehovah`s witnesses would probably be welcomed into more houses if they brought booze or cookies.
Nice try, self-checkout lane. There`s not even any mirrors.
They say do what you love & the money will follow. I love doing nothing. We`ll see.
I`m smiling, that alone should scare you.
new years resolution #1: stop losing the powerball