Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I hate those idiots with those bright halogen lights that are blinding, at least they can see my one finger salute.
Every woman is beautiful in her own unique way. Sometimes it just takes the right amount of alcohol to see it.
Facebook: Saving us money on birthday cards since 2004
MISSED CONNECTION: I gave you the Heimlich maneuver on Maine St. You insisted you weren’t choking and put up a good fight.
Some of my ideas are about as profitable as selling YOLO T-Shirts at a Reincarnation seminar
I hide my vodka in orange juice
The grass is always greener over the septic tank
If we aren`t meant to have late night snacks, why is there a light in the fridge??
I have never faked a sarcasm in my entire life!
I`m just going to start wearing a shirt to work that says "I`m good, thanks for asking."
I`m great in bed" ~ breakfast
Sign said “WET PAINT” So I emptied my water bottle on it. I’m currently waiting on further instructions.
The best person to get thrown in jail with would have to be the Kool-Aid Man.
I`ve come to the point where I don`t even procrastinate anymore ... I just don`t do it.
Want to watch a nerd have a melt down? Tell him that you just bought an Android Ipad.