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I may not look good naked, but I`m a beautiful person on the insi.... Hahahaha just kidding I look great naked
I wish I could feel as happy as an adult, as I felt as a kid when the teacher wheeled in the TV during class
I`ll tell you what a woman wants. She wants you to drag her to the bedroom, toss her down, and do the dishes and laundry while she takes a nap.
The hardest part of being a gentleman is going to all of these gentlemen’s clubs.
Sign: "No alcohol past this point." Translation: Bet you can`t chug this entire beer, right now.
I had been dreaming about eating a giant marshmallow, when I woke up my pillow was gone! :O
The only thing worse than "the one that got away" is the one that won`t go away.
It’s my favorite time of the day: How long can I stare directly at my monitor and do absolutely nothing o’clock.
I just ate Pasta and Anti-Pasta, but they annihilated each other, now I am hungry again.......
If watching the big-screen TV with your pants off and a bag of Doritos is wrong, then they shouldn`t have couches at this Best Buy.
snooze button, becuase all I need after 8 hours of sleep, is a nap
I didn`t have access to Facebook for the past few hours. Finally graduated, got married, lost some weight, read 17 books and showered.
What do you mean casual Friday does not mean drink wine and get drunk at work
roes are red violets are blue he`s for me not for you if for any chance you`ll take my place i`ll use my fist and smash your face
Sometimes when I’m feeling lonely, I head on over to Best Buy and pretend to know nothing about my phone.