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I can`t stand people who blame everyone else for their problems....I`d be successful and happy by now if it wasn`t for them!!!!
Just give me coffee and no one gets hurt.
I just want you all to know, whatever problems you might be having, I`m here to `like` them.
I never said I was better than everyone else, just better than you.
Don`t be part of the problem. Be the ENTIRE problem.
So another day has come and gone and I still haven`t used algebra
Time travel means never having to say you`re sorry...
I`ll take an ice cream sandwich please. You know what? I`m trying to be healthy, can you change that to an ice cream salad instead? Thanks
I don’t like country music, but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do... And for those who like country music, denigrate means ‘to speak badly of`.
Ghetto word of the day: "Bishop", My girlfriend fell down, So I picked that bishop.
I just watched Back to the Future Part II and not once did I see a person walking around staring at their smartphone.
I like to gaze up at the stars at night and think about how somewhere there is intelligent life that hates doing laundry as much as I do.
At the end of each day, life should ask us, `Do you want to save the changes?`
Friends are like condoms… they protect you when things get hard.
I have two words for this week. BEER ME!!!