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I was about to read the story below. But it was too long.
My 4-year-old thinks the 5-second rule means he can eat anything off the floor if he waits 5-seconds first. That M&M was from last Easter.
I often wonder how things worked out for that guy who grabbed the bull by the horns.
I`m so unlucky with women? I visited a massage parlour the other day..and they told me it was "self - service"
My last post deserves WAY more likes than that....let`s go people....chop chop!
I saw a baby wearing a bib that said, “This dumbass put my cape on backwards”
Theirye’re, problem solved.
If I would have known there would be a Facebook, I would have written "f*ck off forever" instead of "keep in touch" in your yearbook.
The most dangerous drinking game is seeing how long I can go without coffee.
It turns out that playing strip solitaire isn`t nearly as much fun as playing strip poker. Especially at work...
I try to avoid trouble but I think it likes me.
Finally got my sh!t together... Now if I can just remember where I put it
The number of lies told by men would decrease significantly if women stopped asking questions
Dear Fork, I understand that we haven`t spoken since I ran away with dish, but I thought you should know that you have a son. His name is Spork. He has your hair. Sincerely, Spoon
On a scale from 1 to 10 how likely is it that your dumbass will say 11?