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If playing Grand Theft Auto makes you violent, why hasn`t 25 years of me playing Madden made me a professional football player?
I know I`m in trouble when the voice in my head starts using my middle name
My wife started clipping coupons to help save money. She keeps them in the side pocket of her $800 purse.
The future is much like the present, only longer.
When I grow up I´d like to be a "Retired Lottery Winner."
Ya know u would never know u where happy if u never had bad memory.
my Dr. says i have ADHD, i dont know how they see.... oooooh a squirrel!
I keep graphic, full frontal nude pictures of myself on my cell phone in case anyone ever hacks it. That`ll teach `em.
I have a moderate amount of skills in life, but one of those things does NOT include the ability to stop eating.
?"Oh! Oh! Oh!" Dyslexic Santa
If I was rich, I´d do nothing all day from a much nicer recliner.
Bored? Simply send a text message to a random number saying..."I`m Pregnant!"
There is no vulnerable feeling like when you are about to sneeze ... with a mouthful of rice.
Keep your friends close and your enemies tied to a train track.
In the South, they remove the `g` from the end of most words. Just sayin`.