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Always crush and snort your first pill on the pharmacy counter to make sure they`re not passing you some fake sh!t.
It saddens me to think that I`ll never be able to watch my own a$$ as I walk away :(
I don`t just sing in my shower, I perform.
I give 2 star movies 5 stars on Netflix because if I sat through this piece of sh!t, I want you to as well.
Success sleeps with u in private. Failure insults u in public ! Aa
Let`s lay in bed all day & trade sexual favors for trips to the fridge
Don`t talk to me until I`ve had my coffee, my breakfast, lunch, juice, dinner, and at least two glasses of wine.
Every day I struggle between “I wanna look good naked” and “treat yourself.”
and alcohol are now friends.
I give movies with 2 stars a 5 on Netflix because if I sat through this piece of sh!t, I want you to as well.
am feeling lazy......... jst like the guy who desighned the Japannese flag
If at first you don`t succeed, you`ll get a lot of free advice from folks who didn`t succeed either.
If nothing else, love is nice because it confirms that you do not hate everyone. Just everyone minus one.
Every time I get an eyelash in my eye, I`m reminded of how quickly I would die in the wild.
Our kids biggest challenge will be to find a username that`s not already taken.