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Facebook is like Chinese food. When you think you had enough, you want more.
I woke up hungover to the sound of my neighbor mowing the lawn. I figure he`ll just have to mow around me. I`m not moving.
"If you can`t handle me at my worst, then you don`t deserve me at my best" literally translates to "I`m a loud, sloppy drunk."
If we agree, I`m probably being sarcastic ... Or I`m drunk
If at first you don`t succeed ... run them over
Boys will be boys... unless they get a sex change.
Relationship Status: ( ) Single ( ) In a Relationship ( ) Married ( ) Engaged ( ) Divorced (X) Waiting for a miracle
You never know what you have until..... you clean your room
That`s a lot of selfies for someone that claims to be emotionally stable
If you could have one super power would you pick flying, invisibility, or falling asleep without questioning every decision you`ve ever made
If you insist on sending me pics of your boobs please at least be a female!!
Things could be worse ... sex could be fattening
If you`re going to give me dirty looks for being at the liquor store at 10am, don`t be open.
I have noticed that everyone who is for abortion, has already been born.
Friends who buy you food are friends for life.