Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I saw a piece of chewing gum in the urinal today and thought, boy that must have been really painful.
Sneaking alcohol into work is pretty easy if you put it in your stomach first.
There was a sense of accomplishment finishing the daily newspaper. I literally have no idea when I`m supposed to stop reading the internet.
I’m tired of things costing money.
Don`t worry about the grass on the other side. It`s not your grass.
tonights theme: grab somebody sexy tell them hey, give me everything tonight!
Hey people who say I am boring and not interesting; FYI the police just called saying they want to talk to me because I am "a person of interest"
I wouldn`t pay for a personal trainer, but I would pay someone to just knock unhealthy food out of my hands.
Amazing how many people just stroll into tattoo parlors and say "Give me the dumbest thing you can think of."
Ladies and Gentleman, I’ve traveled a long way, crossed many bridges, fought my way through countless obstacles, all to bring you this one sad truth about life. There’s never enough beer.
Pointing out the food you just dropped on the floor to your dog because you`re too lazy to clean it.
You’ve never truly lived until someone has posted a sign because of something you’ve done.
Guy- What`s your sign? Me- Stop
Does `virgin wool` come from sheep the shepherd hasn`t caught yet? ..just asking
I want to live in a world where it’s never too late for breakfast food and never too early for pizza.