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As you Mature... you learn that you cannot make someone love you.. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in..
Ladies - I am still available as a great last minute Christmas gift!
I´m pretty sure I had a good time last night. Let me finish reading the police report and I´ll let you know.
My panic room is a walk-in beer cooler at the liquor store.
Accidentally used AOL.com, I betting the employees there are celebrating and think they have a sure future.
I really like it when women check me out, they seem to be able to work the register a lot better than men.
If Harry Potter is so magical then why can’t he fix his eye sight?
Futons are the most disappointing Transformers ever.
I just found out the neighborhood is having a meeting about the creepy guy. ..Its weird that they forgot to invite me ..
It’s 2015, why cant you unselect a floor in an elevator yet?
Trust me, I am a liar.
I just read an article about the dangers of drinking that scared the crap out of me. That`s it. No more reading!
Considering this is the land of the free, stuff is pretty damn expensive.
Roasted beef is like regular beef except the cows family tells embarrassing stories about it, which are tough and tasteless.
They should make a "How It`s Made" episode on how "How It`s Made" is made.