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If at first you don`t succeed ... I just lie and say I did.
Game of Thrones characters should have to wear jerseys with their names on the back
I was in a bar when a girl called me a cheapskate. So I threw her drink in her face.
There should be an energy drink named 6 AM child
They should really be Middle-Age Mutant Business Turtles by now.
IRS: We`ve got what it takes to take what you`ve got.
Scared some Jehovah`s Witnesses today by going to the door completely naked. I`m not sure what scared them more, me being totally naked or the fact that I knew where they lived.
Been there, done that. allegedly
My girlfriend is now mad at me because I didn’t know why she was mad at me.
Does shaking the vending machine count as working ...
My mind has a mind of its own.
Studies show than men who have sex more often tend to have a longer life expectancy. See, it`s a survival thing.
They say a dog can retrieve a tennis ball from over a mile away. Seems a bit far fetched to me.
Can I just drop it like it’s luke warm? It’s been a long day and I’m tired.
Sex-ed classes in school should just be listening to a baby cry for six straight hours while watching the same cartoon on repeat.