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Hey movie villains - make a bomb where the wires are all one color.
Sometimes I say stuff without even meaning to be funny and I`m like "Man, my subconsicious is hilarious!"
I just wanted you all to know that I`m leaving Facebook. The ride has been a blast and I`ve made a ton of friends. Your humor and wit is amazing. I`ll miss all of u, but I`ve decided I need to spend more time with my family...so see you after breakfast!!
It`s only a 4 way stop if each driver can read
If only I did everything with the same precision in which I craft my sandwiches.
i make the other half of the Oreo watch.
I`ve never done any mistake twice... three, four times may be!
If you died and went to he!l, how long will it take you to realise that you aren`t still at work?
How does anything ever get done at the bubble wrap factory?
I could really go for a vegetable sandwich! Maybe some tomatoes, some spinach, cucumbers... With cheese. And a hamburger patty. And bacon. Ok I really want a bacon cheeseburger.
Fun fact: Deciding where to eat is the leading cause of divorce
The awkward moment when you realise you’re wrong in an argument, but you keep arguing anyway.
Sometimes all you need is a hug or someone to tell you everything will be ok, or some rough sex or whatever....
Ohio - High in the middle, and round at the ends.
Rabbits jump & they live for 8 yrs. Dogs run & they live for 15 yrs. Turtles don’t do anything & they live for 150 years. LESSON LEARNED!