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Remember the good old days when making the “duck face” involved 2 Pringles?
Change is always hard.... Especially when a jar of it falls on your head.
When I was your age, we had to walk 10 miles in the snow to get drunk and have s€x.
I really like compliments but I don`t want anyone talking to me...
When I`m bored I like to call in sick to places I don`t work for. I`m getting written up at Home Depot
I hate it when people are holding a device capable of using google and they ask me stupid questions.
Well, it`s about that time of the day when I stop hitting the snooze button, wipe away the drool, open the blinds, and head on home from work.
Sometimes late at night.. I dig a hole in the back yard by lantern light.. Sure keeps my nosy neighbors on their toes.. :|
Announcement: .. the Time Travelers Meeting scheduled for today will be held last Thursday
It would be great if there was an app that deletes your phone number from other people`s phones.
Live For Today… Plan For Tomorrow… Party Tonight!
HR wants me to give myself a self evaluation. This will be the first and last time they make this mistake.
Weekends will from now on begin on Wednesday because that is when it should truly begin!
Whenever you`re powerless, remember: A single one of your pubic hairs can shut down a restaurant.
In the word "scent" is it the s that is silent or the c?