Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
All women want is to have a relationship with an intelligent man. The only problem is, intelligent men don’t get into relationships.
When you are on a first date and she says to you: “I want you to treat me like a movie star,” it is vitally important to establish which type of movie.
Actually baby, diamonds are a girls best friend, so technically I slept with your second best friend
Gimmie a P. Gimmie an R. Gimmie an O. Gimmie a C. Gimmie an R. Gimmie an A. Gimmie an S. Gimmie a....oh, nevermind. I`ll finish this later.
Just rescued a Coca Cola that was trapped in the fridge!
If you`ve lost your appetite today, I think I have it.
Last night I had this awesome dream, where I fought this huge fat ninja and knocked him out with my super power punch. I`d tell you more but I have to take my wife to the doctor. She has this mysterious black eye.
Just a friendly reminder, there are a minimum of three spiders in your room at all times. Goodnight...
I`m gonna name my son Wussell so people think he has a speech impediment.
So far the "couch" part of couch-to-5k is easily my favorite.
is a reasonably intelligent person who does moderately stupid things on a semi-regular basis.
You ever notice that the number of extra steps a drunk takes getting home? ...its staggering!
Why is it all the good things in life are either illegal, immoral, impossible, addictive, or fattening?
People ask me why I don`t have tattoos. Seriously, would you put a bumper sticker on a Lambourghini?
Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons and electrons. They forgot to mention Morons!