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My tombstone will read I should have googled it first.
I always confuse the words exotic and erotic. That made for a very awkward conversation at my local pet store.
"Of course you`re the prettiest girl here, you just need to talk louder" - alcohol
I can read Spanish, Chinese, Russian and Italian. As long as it`s written in english.
drinking while working out...it`s called Bacardio
Is it bad when I´m talking to myself and I´m not even listening?
How can I learn to be more patient? (I`m only interested in quick-fix solutions with immediate results please)
Does the Lego movie come with a disclaimer "Some assembly required"?
I read that taking a long, hot bath can help with managing stress. Unfortunately my boss doesn`t approve.
been there, done that, wrote the book and have the t-shirt to prove it. What more do you want!
If each day is a gift, I wonder where I can return monday.
Just stopped by my old high school and updated my phone number on all the bathroom stalls.
It`s hard to focus on a home workout when your home also contains a refrigerator full of delicious food
The only correct answer to the question are you sleeping is no.
Filling out a job application. Under "Military Experience" I put that I once went commando for 4 days in a row.