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You lied....you don`t have a Klondike Bar do ya?
In alcohol`s defense, I`ve done some pretty dumb shit while completely sober too.
I used to drink a lot in the 80s. Then I realized, who cares what the temperature is.
Roman Numerals...what are they good IV?
Having a toddler is like harboring a bipolar, schizophrenic, incontinent, adorable, tiny dictator.
There`s a word for people like you ... "leave"
Learned today that it`s about 12 min after realizing there`s no TP in the stall that you ask yourself how important your socks really are.
It`s normally a combination of things that cause bad decisions. The tequila, lime, salt combination is the most common.
Reason number 347 why I hate Facebook: A guy from high school posted 11 new photos all with the caption "me"
1. Go to police station 2. Say a gang mugged you 3. Describe your own relatives to police sketch artist 4. Claim free family portrait
Working in retail has taught me that the customer is always right. At least while they`re in earshot...
dude i wasent tht drunk you were huging a peice of chese saying ill never let u go sponge bob
I don`t get women. Also, I don`t understand them.
When parents on Facebook post about how they can`t believe their kid is going into whatever grade, write "No way! I thought for sure he`d be held back!"
Because it`s the season to give thanks, I would just like to say....you`re welcome.