Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Why do they play this music on the elevators if we`re not suppose to slow dance.
i hate not being able to correct the typo i just made in my previous statues update......DAMN IT! I JUST DID IT AGAIN!
Somewhere, a smart Lasik surgeon has an office full of brochures that are all slightly out of focus and a recovery room where they have clear print.
Dear neighbor mowing your yard this morning, I found my bagpipes for tonight.
Salary is like a menstrual cycle, it comes once a month and is gone in five days...
My mom says I`m special.
My swear jar has more money in it than my bank account.
Why did the Fresh Prince have to take a cab anyways? How sh!tty was that family that no one would pick him up from the airport?
9/10 students agree that someone got lost on the field trip
A child`s purpose is to help their parents relearn the states and capitals.
He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
I was fired from my job at the sperm bank for saying "get a load of this guy" every time someone walked in
I bought the world`s worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it`s terrible.
Some people wonder why I never like or comment on their posts. It’s because I unfollowed you a long time ago.
Jogging with a stroller is great exercise! And hard work for whoever is pushing me.