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Because of smart phones my thumbs now have biceps.
What happens on online stays online, forever and ever.
What`s the lowest IQ someone can have while still being a relatively full functioning adult? My wife wants to know.
Candy canes are the perfect treat. They are minty & put you into the holiday spirit & can easily be fashioned into a shank.
Why do they call it "hiring a hitman" and not "ordering takeout"
Sometimes, just to annoy my Therapist, I’ll ask him; “so how does my lack of progress make you feel?”
Since you no longer have a calendar I`d like to notify all the Mayans that it has been one year since the end of the world.
I`m the type of person that would thrive in solitary confinement.
After opening this month`s electric bill, I am no longer scared of the dark.
They say you are what you eat, though... I don`t recall eating a sexy beast today
LIKE if you hide your favorite food from your family
who`s smart idea wus it to name a monkey Donkey Kong??
You`re pretty cocky for someone with such a small ... vocabulary.
The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. It’s greener where you water it.
I cringe when teens brag about taking girls to pound town because adopting a puppy together is a huge responsibility.