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Five years ago my boss asked me where I wanted to be in five years. I finally know the answer: Not Here
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then go find somebody whose life gave them vodka and throw a party.
Saw a post stating "taking it one day at a time," so I responded "me too. That`s how days work."
Hunting is easier for vegans because it’s easier to sneak up on plants.
Imagine, for a moment, what you could accomplish if you had the persistence and drive of the Adobe Acrobat Reader updater.
I`m such a thrill seeker, when I see a ‘Caution, Wet Floor’ sign, I walk faster...
Nothing is quite so annoying as to have someone go right on talking when you`re interrupting!
October is breast awareness month for women, men are usually aware of breasts all year round.
If you love someone , let them go. If they dont come back, call them up later when your drunk and see wtf is going on.
Don`t talk to me like I`m stupid until you know for sure.
My grandma told me her joints are getting weaker, so I told her to roll them tighter.
?"Oh! Oh! Oh!" Dyslexic Santa
What`s cardio, and can I eat it?
Men think us women dream of finding the perfect man when really, all we want is to eat anything without getting fat.
Wouldn’t it be a smart idea? To make the sticky part on envelopes taste like chocolate?