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So exhausting to have my life changed for the better every time someone posts a screenshot of a famous quote.
To be truthful from deep down ... I don`t believe that paper beats rock.
Political debates are great if you want to watch idiots talk to us like idiots to prove that the idiot next to them is a bigger idiot.
So, I guess we’re just supposed to assume the number is 1-800-Ghostbusters?
I just shaved my legs. I think I lost three pounds.
Don`t tell me I have to say "Happy Holidays" so nobody gets offended. I will "Merry Christmas" the sh!t out of you.
and alcohol are now friends.
Life is like a p@nis. Simple, soft, straight, relaxed and hanging freely. Then women make it hard
gave up trying to understand women years ago. Women understand women and they hate each other.
Hash browns not tags.
I bet heroin addicts can open a Capri sun on the first try.
The first person to see a sunset was probably like well this ain`t good.
Not to brag, but, I`ve already consumed 174% of my daily fat requirement.
Whoever made up the saying "It`s the thought that counts" never got a pair of crocs for Christmas.
I’m not always rude. Sometimes I’m sleeping.