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Today one of my colleague told...... Buddy let get into serious studies... exams are on our heads.... And then both of us continued to chat with other people on fb for hours
I like having an ex ...it gives me something to do on Facebook at 3 in the morning.
When I become president I will make Monday a part of the weekend.
This headache feels like dumb people
There is no better sunscreen than sitting inside a bar.
Yoga pants are just push up bras for your butt.
Don`t just lay there... Move! Bounce! Do something!! ~ me, pleading with my hair
Ever get out of the shower and not remember getting a towel ready but its there anyway? You`re welcome.
One of the benefits of eating healthier is that you never have to ask questions like, “Who ate my kale?”
Every morning I check my girlfriends horoscope to see what kind of day I`m going to have.
Could you imagine if guys commented on their guy friends` profiles the way girls do? "Bro, you look so handsome" "Looking hot, man!" "OMG, your jawline is cray" "Ugh, how are you this perfect dude? I`m jelly" "sexy much?!"
Actually according to chemists, alcohol IS a solution…
"Half a dozen" because saying `6` is way too long...
Spiderman is just another guy who ends up with sticky hands and covered in white stuff after being on the web.
going to mcdonalds for a salad is like going to a brothel for a hug