Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sarcasm, I put that sh!t on everything
If your dog weighs less than 10lbs, it`s technically a cat
Doing word problems as a kid has helped me in adulthood. "Dan doesn`t have enough money for his bills, how long before he is homeless?"
On Mondays I like to reply to all my bosses emails with `unsubscribe`
Guy test! find the nearest guy by you and repeat to him the following slowly: Door knob, Titanic, Gluestick, Kiwi, Opra Winfey, Shovel, Boobs, Remote, Battery, Furby, Glowstick, Beer, & Xbox. NOW ask him what he remembers before "Boobs"
Judging from the bar receipts, ATM withdraws, hand stamps, and the glitter in my car, I now realize I`m a ball of fun when I black out.
I`ve found that the things I`m most interested in aren`t really in my best interest.
I’m a pervert, but in a romantic way.
Had another daydream where I`m doing the mexican hat dance and CIA guys watching me from satellites are dancing along in their control room
The best part about being over 40 is we did most of our stupid stuff before the internet.
A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s…That’s because she changes it more often.
Just got a Cheerio stuck between my toes walking through the kitchen. Clearly my dog isn’t doing his part of the chores around here.
I saw a comedian one time who did nothing but make geography puns. talk abbottabad act.
Well, I`ve officially entered the, "Why did I come into this room?" phase of my life.
Finding out your ex got fat is like finding 20 bucks in your pocket. Not life changing but definitely puts a smile on your face.