Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Last night I saw a documentary about beavers. Best dam show I ever watched.
I don´t like people who can´t make fun of themselves. It means more work for me.
Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, & nothing but the truth" ... I choose dare, your honor
Feeling bored? Go to a clothing store and put "one size fits all" stickers on the bras.
For all those girls that say `all guys are the same` ... Who told you to try them all? Hoe.
You can`t make everyone happy, so today I think you should focus on me.
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We`ll see about that.
Male or female, no one f*cks with you if you put your lipstick on like The Joker.
I`m certain that the reason for Wasps, Hornets, and Yellowjackets was to remind grown men that they can still scream like a little girl.
I can’t even imagine the self control required to work at a bubble wrap factory.
Thanks for accepting my friend request on Facebook, even though is was solely so I could gain full access to your profile and judge your life choices.
My boys cleaned out my car and now my change is missing. Little do they know, it costs exactly $3.63 to turn our wifi back on.
ATTENTION: Upon further consideration, I am once again pushing back the debut of my summer beach bod. Thank you for your patience.
thinks that life was a lot simpler when I thought girls had cooties, and getting to the bottom of the sandbox was a good day.
They`re having a Jamaican hair-do day tomorrow at work. I`m dreading it.