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We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
Some people are normal. What an awful, boring existence that must be.
I hate situations where I have to acknowledge the people I had been successfully ignoring.
I have OCD and ADD, so everything must be perfect..but not for very long.
But what if bygones want to be something else? ;)
I saw a girl being irresponsible texting while driving and it really ticked me off.....So I rolled down my window and threw my beer at her.
Gym update: not there
When people introduce themselves to me for the first time, I tell them, “Yes, we’ve met before.” So they feel awkward trying to remember me.
Next time a guy says he wants to fight you, just say "not in that outfit!" and roller skate away
Apparently, I just ate 39 servings of Tic - Tacs.
If I knew how to backflip, I`d never walk anywhere.
I´m not insensitive, I just don´t care.
The best way to let people remember you is to `borrow money from them`
Can you LIKE this status with your elbow? (no cheating)
Filling out a job application. Under "Military Experience" I put that I once went commando for 4 days in a row.