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I need me a pretty girl with an ugly girl personality
It may look like I’m in deep thought, but 99% of the time I’m just thinking about what food I’m going to eat later.
If you raise your children, you spoil your grandkids. If you spoil your children, you raise your grandkids.
It hurts to be in love. Oh wait, I`m sitting on my keys.
363 shopping days `til Christmas and some people already have their lights up.
My therapist told me today that I need to stop talking to inanimate objects, but I mean he`s just a lamp so what does he really know anyway
If at first you don`t succeed ... I just lie and say I did.
"Hello, 911? Hi, I was just wondering: is it stop, drop, THEN roll? Cause my friend--STOP SCREAMING, I`M ASKING THEM"
If kids get money for losing teeth, what do I get for all this hair I’m losing?
I was planning on doing something today, but I haven`t finished doing nothing from yesterday.
Exercise by running up the street knocking on all the doors. - Jehovah`s Fitness.
You know I feel the frustration that The Skipper endured because there are days that I too am surrounded by Gilligans
Figuring out that you`ll probably never figure it out is the first step of really figuring things out.
My kid go from "omg...you`re impossible I can`t wait until I`m 18!" To "You`re the best mom ever" in a matter of $100
is wondering if the hokey pokey is really what it´s all about