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umm umm u know that school where i got the degree from
Ha! Who`s laughing now, f*ckers that took your Christmas lights down last year!
I love slip on shoes because you can slip them off just as easy to hit stupid people with them.
I bet Jellyfish are sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish.
Good morning to some...Hello to others...And f*uck you to the rest!!
My mother suggested that I get professional help... and that`s when I hired my first hooker.
Got tasered at speed dating again.
People who actually rate porn videos are the unsung heroes of our generation.
When you are dead, you don’t know you are dead but other people do. The same applies when you are stupid.
Scratch and Sniff Here [____] …Smells like glass, doesn’t it
You know it`s time to delete Facebook when your mom, dad, uncles, aunties, grandparents etc... is on it.
If I was gonna make a bomb, I`d use the same color wire for the whole thing.
Why is it called Boob Sweat and not Humiditties?
A coworker gave me an invitation to her wedding in case you were wondering why this paper airplane I’m making has lace on it.
My boss hates it when I shorten his name to D!ck, Especially since his name is Steve.