Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
OH NO !,,,,,,,,, I just realized I can`t stop calling the addiction hotline....
My wife gives me the speaking treatment.
Must you really ask why I have my selfie on top of my Christmas tree?
It`s 2014, people. Isn`t it about time we put an end to all this `wake up in the morning and go to work` nonsense?
I met this girl in a club last night, I think she’s a body builder. She just so happened to build hers using chips.
The graveside service just barely finished, when there was massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance...The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, `Well, she`s there`
Today’s Horoscope: You’re gullible
If someone doesn`t return your texts, relax and remember they`re probably just busy not liking you.
It`s funny how this guy grating cheese over my pasta thinks I`m going to say stop.
With my background and genetics, you guys should be happy I am half as normal as I am.
Dear eyelashes, wishbones, dandelions, pennies, shooting stars, 11:11, and birthday candles ... Do your damn job.
Played hide and seek today. I was winning until the cops let the K9 off of the leash.
Someone once told me, “GO FOR BROKE” !! I’m happy to report that I succeeded…
People be like: "Awe baby you make me so happy." But the second you break up they be like, "finally happy."
I don`t get in trouble, I just get into questionable situations.