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I`m a spontaneous procrastinator
Killing spiders is easy and fulfilling if you imagine them whispering "You look fat in those pants".
Has anyone seen where I put my organizational skills?
The woman that just drove past me was either doing a huge yawn or her brakes have failed....
This looks like a job for Superman! -unemployed Superman reading the classifieds
It`s a small world, but I wouldn`t want to paint it.
Airplanes: offering you the comforts of gas station food/drinks at popular night club prices
I want to grow old and disgusting with you.
Garage sales are the gateway drug to Walmart.
If you emphasize the ‘po’ in police they’re probably already after you.
?"May contain nudity".. either it does or it doesn`t.. quit waistin` my time.
I don`t hate you, but I hope you fall in love and get married.
Being all talk and no action sounds relaxing.
A few more months without getting laid and I should be eligible for employment at Gamestop.
Some people should come with subtitles.