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PLEASE - put this on your status if you know someone (or are related to someone) who has been eaten by dragons. Dragons are nearly unstoppable and, in case you didn`t know, they can also breathe fire. 93% of people won`t copy and paste this, because they have already been eaten by dragons. 6% of people are sitting in the shower armed with fire extinguishers and the remaining 1% are awesome and will re-post.
Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.
I was just awarded the first place trophy for laziness. All I need now is for someone to accept it on my behalf.
Often I convince myself I enjoy the company of other humans. Then I spend time with them and remember I don`t.
I asked my mom for money and she said "Does it look like I am made of money?" I said "Well isn`t that what M.O.M stands for?"
I just don’t want to look back and think “I could’ve eaten that.”
It’s not a great nap, unless you wake up and can’t remember what day it is.
The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.
Adulthood is when 4:30am is early in the morning instead of late at night.
If you`re in your car, go ahead and pick your nose, because the car makes you invisible.
Do transformers have health insurance or car insurance???
Would the 2 Sonic dudes just get it over with and kiss already
Roses are cars, violets are buckets. This poem makes no sense. Eyeballs.
My local news station says it gives us " news when it breaks " ...I want unbroken news!!
Monday morning coffee is just as important as friday night liquor....almost.