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New day, same old bullsh!t
What I do when I black out is none of my business.
Tomorrow the world shall be ours! Until then, good night my evil minions!!
Why do I get the feeling that a lot of you are using Facebook as a substitution for prescription meds?
I would call my fashion style: “clothes that still fit.”
If you surround yourself with people funny enough to make you laugh till your abs hurt, you’ll never have to work out!
Mario Bros. Plumbing ????? (69 Reviews) Hired them to clear my drain, stomped my turtle to death and ran off with my girlfriend.
If you don’t like something change it... if you can’t change it....post it on facebook, so we can "like it" and laugh..
Think of a number between 0 and 20. Add 40 to it. Multiply by 2. Subtract 3. Now close your eyes.... It`s dark isn`t it.
Look Bruce, just because you call it the "Batcave" doesn`t change the fact that you still live in your parents basement.
I`m going to switch my car insurance from Geico to Allstate, then to Statefarm, then back to Geico. If my calculations are correct, they should owe me $837
The difference between your house smelling like delicious popcorn or burnt a$$ is around 24 seconds ..
Little known fact: Walt Disney was the inventor of modern day text talk "M - I - C... C u real soon... K - E - Y... Y? Because we like u"
Our parents did the same sh!t too, they`re just liars.
Never go on a blind date with a friend! She was so big when i took her home she went to my backyard and started grazing.