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I`m still waiting for that fairly tale scene where the animals clean everything for me.
Is it called NASCAR because that’s the way a hillbilly pronounces “nice car?”
I went to the store and saw that Duracell batteries were on sale just before Valentine`s Day. Someone is a marketing genius.
How can we call ourselves "evolved" when signs are needed to remind people to wash their hands after they go to the bathroom
really vry funny
I work so hard for my gta V character to have a better life
Shout out to hotel maids changing sheets on February 15th.
How much would you have to pay a teacher to flunk your kid so he has to go to Summer School? Just planning ahead...
MY MISSION IS COMPLETE!!! I have successfully wasted a little bit of your time today :) carry on!
The roof of the McDonalds in my town has 38 Pickle slices on it from times I ordered sh!t without pickles in it.
I`m convinced girls only want one thing from guys... all of our hoodies. -Bfanch
You mean you can actually put the cork back in a wine bottle? WHY!!??
New philosophy on life: Do unto others, then run like hell.
I`ve always wondered is jellyfish are sad because there are no peanut butter fish.
Wouldn’t it be a smart idea? To make the sticky part on envelopes taste like chocolate?