Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Do you ever think that if it weren`t for someone smoking Marijuana they might of killed you already. . .
My first mistake was thinking she couldn`t hit a moving target.
Don’t judge me…If you’re reading this then you aren’t working either.
I`m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.
Make a random stranger`s day by walking up to them and saying "This isn`t real. You have to wake up"
My girlfriend told me to grow a pear… What the hell does fruit have to do with killing this spider?
Did I ever tell you about my old girlfriend? The one with the "Lazy Eye"? I had to break up with her, she was seeing somebody on the side..........................
You know it´s going to be a bad day when your horoscope starts with.. "Are you sitting down?"
Dentists need cooler sh!t on their ceilings.
Wow, I haven`t seen you since the last time I wish I hadn`t seen you
I`m pretty sure if you watched a movie of my life backwards it probably would be about a guy who refills beer cans and puts them in the fridge.
It`s always darkest before the dawn. So if you`re going steal your neighbor`s newspaper that`s be the time to do it.
When asked how I take my coffee, I reply with, "Seriously. Very seriously."
Jingle bells johnny smells, amelia ruled the show, frankies okay, marcus is gay, little mix all the way.. HAY !!!
Life is basically just a constant effort to not be disgusting.