Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Do you ever have the urge to tell someone to shut up even when they aren`t talking?
My mom at night: Good night, sweet dreams I love you. My mom in the morning: Wake the f*ck up you lazy piece of sh!t.
I`m going to hell in every religion!
I thought I was a bit hardcore until I saw this guy sucking on a soy sauce packet like an Otter Pop.
More tattoo artists really just need to say "No, I`m not doing that."
Nobody’s phone is ever off. They’re lying.
is deep in thought . . . if only i could remember what i was thinking about
I don`t have mistletoe this year, so we`ll just have to kiss under the influence.
What if in like 30 years they made a film about Leonardo DiCraprio and how he never won an Oscar…and the actor who played him got an Oscar.
I should never have climbed into this vat of curdled milk. I`m in whey over my head.
Don’t be too flattered. If I’ve come up a fun nickname for you, chances are it’s because I’ve forgotten your real name. Sorry, Cowboy.
Every time I get a paper cut, I know somewhere a tree is laughing.
Siri, where are my pants?
scratch here ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦ to reveal my status
Research shows that 100% of the time when someone says “oh no she didn’t!” she most definitely did.