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A friend doesn`t question your motive, they just keep their mouth shut and dig.
You`re the reason I wake up every morning... Just kidding, I have to goto work.
A person who is bad at math should never take a calculated risk.
At first it was "Okay" and then "ok" and now "k" and soon it will disappear and you`ll all regret it
Hell yes, I would love to get stoned to death. Wait, rocks?! What rocks?
doesn`t mind that people start spreading rumors about me.. it’s when they spread the truth that I’m screwed ;)
If you believe in reincarnation then your tombstone should say “b.r.b” instead of “r.i.p”.
You`re exceeding the limits of my medication. Please go away.
I am deleting my twitter right now! Not to seem paranoid but I think people are following me!
The problem with the girl of my dreams is that she’s never around when I’m awake.
i was sooo funny i cracked me off.......
Dimples are considered a facial muscledeformity in the medical world.
I run a non-profit company. It`s not for a good cause or anything, I`m just not very good at business.
On one issue, at least, men and women agree: they both distrust women.
I often worry about the safety of my children, especially the one that is rolling their eyes at me & talking back right now.