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So if one was to type ‘idiot’ into Google, would your picture come up?
Everyone has their area of expert knowledge.... if any of you need tips on how to do absolutely nothing amazingly well, let me know.
It`s hard to make your coffee when you haven`t had your coffee.
You’d think “attractive neighbor leaves curtains open” would appear in more real estate listings.
Maybe the reason Uncle Phil hated Will was because the first thing Will gave him was a $3700 cab ride bill from Philly to Bel-Air.
My kids can be difficult sometimes, but my mom always assures me that I deserve it.
I f*cking hate you. Hope that clears things up.
Just in case you are wondering ... I did not go to Jared.
I hung a horseshoe above the door for goodluck ... My wife still came home ... Superstitions are stupid.
Boys will be boys. Girls will be girls. Koalas will be koalas. Just about everything will be the things they are. That`s how this works.
Can you imagine the reaction 20 years ago if you showed people a photo album filled with pictures you took of yourself in the bathroom?
I`m living in a drama-free bubble today. Respect the bubble, people, respect it!
Why does McDonalds call it a drive thru when you have to drive AROUND the building?
I mixed Taco Bell sauce into my Ramen Noodles, It tastes exactly like poverty.
Sometimes I get mad about having to unload the dishwasher but then I remember a machine just washed my dishes for me.