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Not sure if this Adderall is working but I just made a pros and cons list about pros and cons lists.
Days are short in December but spending them with family really stretches them out.
A new study says schizophrenia and pot smoking are genetically linked ā but don`t worry, another study says you`re just being paranoid.
My girlfriend just accused me of being unfaithful. I told her that is ridiculous and that she is starting to sound like my wife.
You could completely eliminate the semicolon key and 90% of America wouldn`t notice... until they needed to wink at somebody.
I can`t help but feel insulted when that voice on the speaker calls me a Walmart shopper.
Even when Iām home alone, I still answer Jeopardy questions out loud.
OMG!! IT`S MONDAY ... What the f*ck do you think comes after Sunday, Sunday JR. ?
Honestly, Officer, I wouldn`t have pulled over had I known you were just going to criticize me
Happy St. Patrick`s Day! I was going to drink anyway!
Whenever I delete an App on my iPhone, The shaking icons make me feel like they`re all panicked over who`s getting deleted.
The best part about being a pathological liar is flying my helicopter to my private island.
Cookies and porn are always better when they`re homemade!
My girlfriend isn`t much of a wrestler but you should see her box!!
Just spent like 5 hours talking to my neighbor about his garden and long story short, turns out it was just a f*cking scarecrow.