Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Wow!!! Thank you guy on Facebook I went to high school with and haven`t spoken to in 14 years, you really changed my mind about this upcoming election....
Apparently when my math teacher asked `what comes after 69` "I DO" was not the correct answer.
It must be annoying for nudists when they have to clean their glasses
This is the earliest I have ever been late.
Get at least eight hours of beauty sleep, 9 if you`re ugly.
Exaggerations went up a million percent last year.
My wife was out of town, so I had to run the morning routine by myself today. I learned a lot. For example, apparently I have two kids.
We look like we are being productive, but really, we are just talking sh!t about co-workers and how drunk we got last weekend.
You`ve got to love yourself. But not in public places.
When people say "To be honest...", it means that up to that point they`ve been lying.
Smiling gives you wrinkles. Resting bitch face keeps you pretty.
Take Note: a stress ball can be used for throwing at people who stress you out.. You`re Welcome..
This may be the wine talking but help he’s drinking me, he’s drinking me.
"Has anybody ever seen a chicken fly? No? Good, there`s nothing wrong with ya"
Learned a lesson from my dog tonight ... No matter what life brings you, kick some grass over that sh1t and move on.