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My internet was down for almost 4 mins, I’m ok but the 911 operator was a total b!tch about it!
Not sure if this Adderall is working but I just made a pros and cons list about pros and cons lists.
Long story short, I love summaries.
I was all "I`m not taking any sh!t from you" and she was all "to speak to a member of our customer service team, press 1".
My worst fear is seeing one of my statuses marked as "exhibit A"
One day, people are gonna write songs about the nap I`m about to take.
I’m amazing in bed. I have the ability to stay there all day.
This goes out to the person who thought of the idea to put stickers on each and every piece of fruit. "Nobody like`s your idea"
“How are feeling today?” is a polite reminder that you were a mess the night before.
Whatever Mom, IF THAT`S EVEN YOUR REAL NAME!!!
I guess I need to buy some new drink coasters because I finally ran out of AOL free trial CDs.
Batman had the bat signal. If you need to get my attention, hold a Roast Beef Sandwich over a floor lamp and aim it at my apartment.
Trying to be less negative but it`ll never work.
Just witnessed kids playing tag. What is this world coming to? Do their parents know they are outside, interacting, and getting exercise?
One of the saddest days of my life was when I heard that bears sleep for half the year and I realized I had been born the wrong species