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Because of smart phones my thumbs now have biceps.
I think for Halloween I am going to go as Karma. Some of you should be worried.
So, I hear Colorado`s population has increased 420%.
You can`t make me believe there`s a shortage of jobs in this country when there are 23 cash registers at WalMart and only 3 cashiers.
The best time to reexamine your life is when you find yourself reluctantly nodding to the questions asked at the start of an infomercial.
I only drink on two occasions; when its my birthday and when its not.
I DON`T NEED ANYONE OR ANYTHING!!! (Except for Louie...the name I`ve given this meatball sub.)
I took up the game of Golf recently. . .but I had too much trouble getting through that windmill.
Attractive Woman: What time is it? Me: Haha. Yeah definitely
Wisdom for the day is , hot cheetos are not breakfast.
If life is unfair to everyone, doesn`t that make life fair?
I wish I was a jedi, but mostly just so I didn`t have to bend over to pick up dog poop.
Not one back to school special on beer. What kind of world do we live in.
wants to rock and roll all night
I just devoured a six inch from Subway and I`m still not satisfied. I get it ladies. I get it.