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Two days is not enough time for a weekend.
Honey, your haters are imaginary. No one wants to be you. I promise.
The secret to eternal life and happiness could be hidden in the Terms & Conditions and we would never know.
Now that I`m on Facebook, I can finally put that English degree I obtained to some use…
I wash once and dry 3-4 times, depending on how much I want to delay folding my clothes.
Dear axe body spray, Could you Please put a suggested spray size on your deodorant bottles. Best regards, Asphyxiated girls everywhere.
I think for Halloween I am going to go as Karma. Some of you should be worried.
Q: What do you call apple-flavoured marijuana? A: iPot
Judging from my last 5 relationships I am convinced my heart is trying to kill me
This status could be yours for 3 easy payment of $8.99, get in quick because this offer won`t last for long, infact there are only 5 left.
Getting older is pretty much just paying bills and finally understanding why killers in horror flicks target teenagers.
It`s hard to be a good person when kids fit so perfectly into trash cans.
Well, I’m bored again. Time to open the fridge
If I had a time machine, I`d just keep going back every 8-9 hours so I could sleep more.
Being handed a flyer is the offline version of a pop-up ad.