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My favorite coffee in the morning is the one where no one talks to me while I drink it.
So I´ve narrowed it down and I´m either gonna start a motorcycle gang or take a nap.
Halloween Drinking Game: Drink every-time an Elsa (from Frozen) visits your house.
How long do I have to sleep before I`m legally a bear?
I`m surprised more killers haven`t lured their victims into their houses by blind folding them and promises of being on a febreze commercial
"This is the ride that killed Jimmy." - me in line, loudly, at amusement parks
My math is never so quick or exact as when I see an old flame with a child.
Went looking for camouflage underwear today.....couldn`t find any
"Holy sh!t, that guy eats a lot of pizza" -people that walk by my house on recycling day.
Any time that I see someone wearing crocs, I assume they lost a bet.
wassup pips! :-) no i don`t mean you guys pip, get it? piping?? haaahaaa... looks like i`m the only one laughing right? well it sounded funnier in my head (-_-)
I like when google answers my stupid questions because it means I`m not the only one asking google stupid questions.
All true wisdom is found on T-Shirts.
It’s never too late for a coffee. After all it’s always morning somewhere in the world.
If anyone is interested I`ll be signing books tomorrow at Barnes & Noble from 6:00pm until I get escorted out by security.