Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You can never read a doctor`s prescription, but you can sure read his bill
why does that idiot Charlie Sheen keep winning, and a good person like me keeps losing?
Changing a whole text message just because you didn`t know how to spell one word?
Boobs: Proof that men can pay attention to two things at once.
Where have you been all my life? ... Please go back there.
If all the worlds a stage and the men and women merely players, how come Justin Bieber gets all the airtime?
I was so angry when I found my wife’s profile on a dating website. That lying b!tch isn’t “fun to be around.”
Firemen, Astronauts, and Doctors are the only people who actually followed through on what they wanted to be when they grew up.
my entire life is a "had to be there" moment
The key to a successful relationship: Tools > Internet Options > Clear history.
From 8am until 12pm, my job basically pays me to think about what I am going to have for lunch
If the shoe fits, buy it.
I thought we had nothing in common until I saw you buying 3 margaritas at a time.
I`m going to spend Valentine`s day with my ex.... Box 360
I was named after my father. I don`t really like the name "Dad" though.