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I just found out cock fighting is done with roosters and now it feels like this 6 months of training has been wasted.
There’s no question about it, the second half of the tank of gas goes twice as fast as the first!
I have been snoring a lot lately and apparently my coworkers find it distracting
A touching letter by a little girl to Santa on Christmas: Dear Santa, Please give clothes to all those poor ladies in daddy`s laptop
The one thing you never wanna hear when your father catches you watching porn is... "Scoot over."
Farting isn`t ladylike? Well, neither is giving a blowjob, but I have never heard you complaining about that!
I feel like I have not told enough people lately to kiss my mother f*cking a$$.
The only way I know if I`ve bought enough beer is if my car thinks I have a passenger
Stop calling them rednecks. The term is NASCAR-Americans. Y`all.
scratch here ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦ to reveal my status
Having a 14 year old has made me realize why some species eat their young.
It`s really cold out there folks. If you`re heading to Wal-Mart, please wear two pairs of pajamas.
Do you know what I hate worse than people? Groups of people.
Adam didn`t take any crap from Eve. He wore the plants in that relationship
Afraid my muffin top is desiring to become a pound cake.