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I bet the "YMCA" dance is a lot harder to do in different languages
Next time you go to the bank and they ask you if you`d like large bills, just look at them dead serious and say "No, normal size ones if you don`t mind."
"Probiotic" sounds a lot better than "bacteria infested"
Next time you over hear a stranger giving out their number. Text them details of what they are wearing. It`s so fun to watch them freak out!
If you`ve never needed to move to a new city and assume a new identity, then we probably haven`t dated.
Should all acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind, should all acquaintance be forgot and somebody refill my wine.
If I could have anything in the world it would be to have the same finger prints as my enemy
Very excited to announce I`m on the market and actively looking for someone new to make me miserable
That moment when you wake up at 2 o`clock a.m and remember how crappy that after earth movie was and you go back to sleep immediately
I ran into a dwarfs car this morning and he come up to me and said "I`m not happy!" And I said we`ll which one are you then
Of course size matters. No one wants a small pizza.
Know what this salad needs? A Big Mac.
It`s no fun having nothing to do, fun is having a lot to do and doing nothing.
Babies are really cute until you meet one that`s not a picture.
Chip clips are for quitters.