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I`m a good singer. Unfortunately I have a bad voice.
I haven`t slept for three days, because that would be too long
If you`re reading this then I`m wishing you a Happy New Year! Stay safe, have fun, and remember, I like New Years gifts too!
SPOILER ALERT for "Finding Bigfoot" TV show - they don`t find him. Again.
Nothing shall separate me from the love of beer...
Alcohol and calculus don’t mix… Don’t drink and derive!
Dear Alcohol, Will you be my valentine? ?
You could`ve told me that wasn`t your real name before I got the tattoo.
The judge says I`m a repeat offender, but he always says that.
Wouldn’t exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them?
You think your wife is crazy now? Try divorcing her
The only reason I keep people`s phone numbers in my phone is to avoid their calls..
How strange, some guy just waved half of a peace sign at me...
I do everything faster when I have to pee.
I was wondering why some couples don`t go to the gym together but I guess some relationships just don`t work out...