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To all them girls who go out , looking sexy as hell but have boyfriends.......Please continue to do so when you`re married.
Funny how 8 glasses of water a day seems impossible, but 8 beers a day seems so easy
Life is too short to be angry and hold grudges. Just slap them in the face and move on!
Unless you discovered a dead body, I don`t want to hear about your morning jog.
life is like a bed of roses just got to whatch out for the pricks
Tyler on Facebook says he ran 1.7 miles this morning… So based on calculations, I have 35 minutes to ransack his house tomorrow morning.
My local hairdresser just got arrested for selling drugs. Unbelievable! I`ve been her customer for 10 years and had no clue she was a hairdresser!
She likes to call it a conversation, but mostly she`s gathering evidence.
I’m the king of balancing more trash on top of an already full trash can.
Ever been in the middle of writing a great post and think, did I just run someone over?
Anyone else has a plastic bag at home full of plastic bags?
Spring cleaning: The term that gives us an excuse to only clean once a year.
Check this one out.........1
When I see somebody get on one knee tying their shoe in public I get in front of them, happy cry, and say “Oh my GOD, I will, YES-YESS!”
At my age, my biggest fantasy is to sleep through the night without having to pee every two hours.